This Might Not Make Much Sense To Most Of You...

I just got back from LPL Memphis last night and I need to write down (actually, type - who writes anymore) some funnies that happened over the course of the weekend. For many of you, this will look like a jumbled mess of words, but to me, they are hilarious moments that bonded my heart even more with some of the most amazing people I've ever been blessed to know. And I don't want to EVER forget them, to I'm putting them down here.

It's my blog and I can type if I want to.

And I promise to be bringing you a clear, concise, re-cap of the weekend, complete with some deep stuff that Beth threw at us, but it takes a little time to process that kind of stuff. And let me tell you, I read back over my notes this morning, and I was blown away with some NEW STUFF that I learned. Amazing.

So, here goes.

1. Mama Kim and her snacks/cooler in the car. LOVE HER.
2. YouTube videos
3. Eating 3 crackers, 1 piece of pizza, and a third of a bowl of pasta in 3 days.
4. Spending the majority of my food budget on Starbucks.
5. Being able to sleep only 10 hours over the course of the weekend thanks to Starbucks.
6. Dad
7. Noisy pasta
8. Flowers in hair
9. Gumbo for the homeless
10. Really?
11. Being worried that Fran was picking up a total stranger at the airport and then realizing that this total stranger turned out to be the biggest blessing of the weekend.
12. Bi-polar A/C in the hotel. Freezing...sweating...freezing....sweating...
13. Boots
14. Name that tune at 3:00 AM
15. Watching sweet Rachel's baby move in her tummy. Aunt Robyn LOVES YOU!
16. Pam Case's elevator adventure
17. Freezing in line Saturday morning BEFORE the sun came up
18. Excellent seats in the FedEx
19. KLOVE
20. 6 hours, 1 bed, hilarious laughter, sweet friends
21. Peepskin
22. Noisy pasta making Mary/Melinda's room smell like fish guts
23. More Starbucks
24. "DANGIT, who has a key to push the button on the elevator?"
25. The glass shower
26. FREEZING in Kim's car
27. Being very appreciative of an Aflac blanket
28. The sleepy man in the lobby when we checked in.
29. The guy with dreads at Blues Cafe.

I love all of you LPL Memphis people. LOVE. YOU.

You make my heart happy and my abs a little stronger. What a laughter work-out they got this weekend!

The Great Skinny Leg Jean / Legging Debate of 2009

I was watching the Today show this morning and the fashion show of the day was all about Leggings. The "fashion expert" claimed that leggings are for everyone, regardless of how old you are or what size you are. Then several models paraded out in their leggings, which included leather leggings, denim leggings (complete with faux pockets on the front AND back - shudder), and sequined leggings.

I tend to disagree with the "leggings are for everyone" trend that is so popular right now.

And here are my reasons why.

1. The models on the Today show were probably 6'5" and weighed on average 47 pounds. How many people do you know who are that size? Me? Zero. But the leggings looked great on them. I did notice, however, that they didn't bring out a size 12 mom, who is carrying a diaper bag, a kid, and 14 pieces of Polly Pockets to show how cute leggings would be on her. I smell a conspiracy.

2. In the immortal words of my friend, Erin, "Don't wear skinny leg jeans if you aren't." Words to live by, people. Words to live by.

3. Tait, my FOUR YEAR OLD, wore leggings to school today. She looked precious. If your 4 year old looks precious in something, chances are you won't if you wear the same thing.

4. In order to wear skinny leg jeans, you must meet 2 requirements. A) Be skinny. B) Have legs. I have only met B. Therefore, I haven't met the requirements of wearing skinny leg leans. Refer back to #1. They met both requirements. Carry on, telephone pole models.

5. I watch "What Not to Wear" religiously (secretly hoping that someone will nominate me and I'll be TRANSFORMED by the powers of Stacy and Clinton - hint hint, wink wink) and they have a major issue with tapered pants. They say that when your ankles are the skinniest part of you, your BACKSIDE looks huge by comparison. Skinny leg jeans/leggings = the most tapered pant possible. And I can ASSURE YOU that I need no help making my backside look large. And that's all I gotta say about that.

6. Sequined leggings? That reflect light and draw lots of attention to your legs and butt? There's just something scarily wrong with that idea.

7. The last time I wore leggings was in the 80's. Do you remember the 80's? They were bad, people. BAD. It was ALL OF OUR ugly stages. The people who apparently are the "trend setters" today were either too young to remember the 80's or not yet born in the 80's. So I think it's our duty to mankind to show them the errors of our ways. Let's learn from our past. Not REPEAT IT!

So, in closing, I plan on strongly declining the skinny leg pant / legging trend.

What about you?

Talk amongst yourselves in the comment section.

Alright, Bloggy Peeps, We've Got a LOT To Cover.

Well now. Hello there! I have been absent for oh, so long. My July bloggy break sort of turned into July, August, and part of September break. Sorry. There's been a little craziness going on.

But before I get into that, I'd like to publicly shout out to my dad, brother, and friend Marcie, who have been checking Ye Olde Blog religiously for a new post, only to see the previous post on their screen for 40 days straight. Y'all rock.

Now, unless I want to make this post the longest post ever, it's gonna be in list format. Because, HELLO, have we met? I love me a list.

A few things have happened in the world and the Davidson household since I last blogged. Here's a re-cap.

1. Farrah Faucet died then TOTALLY GOT TRUMPED when MJ died. I was sad that both of them died, but extra sad that Farrah's limelight was directed to MJ. Just plain ole sad.

2. Mary Emma had a BALL at camp. The first words out of her mouth when we picked her up were "Can I go again next summer?" So Spencer and I are currently drawing straws to decided which one of us is selling a kidney to not only get her there but to pay for our trip out there because we're too chicken to send our kid 10 hours away all by herself. Right now, she's enrolled in camp and our hotel is booked. Not promising anything after that. But I WILL say, that Kanakuk was life changing for her. She grew up a little. She accepted Christ. She was baptized in the lake by the camp director, Spencer, and my dad. It was amazing. Check into Kanakuk for your kids. If it's something you can do, you will NOT be disappointed.

3. School has started and for the first time in 8 1/2 years, I have a little bit of time to myself. Mary Emma is in 3rd Grade, Tait is in PK4 (she goes M,W,F), and Camille is in Mother's Day Out on W & F. Did you catch that? I have NO KIDS on Wednesdays and Fridays. Please pause now for a moment of silent prayer, thanking Him for a blessing that I didn't even realize I was so desperate for.

4. Some good friends have recently become GREAT friends. Safe friends. Hilarious, laughing friends. The best friends I've ever had. My Wild Women. And I Praise Him for your friendship and can't wait to hang with you again soon.

5. My hard drive on my computer crashed. CRASHED. I lost everything. The Apple peeps gave me my old hard drive to take to a Data Recovery place to see if anything (PICTURES) can be recovered off of it. So, this post will be lacking in pics, because they're gone. Hopefully not forever. I can't even talk about it without tearing up and breaking out in a cold sweat.

6. Spencer and I gave Mary Emma tickets to the Taylor Swift concert for her birthday back in May. The concert was Friday night. She took a friend and had a BLAST. Taylor Swift is absolutely amazing.

7. Speaking of Taylor Swift, I know you all have heard of the debacle that occurred with Kanye West at the VMA's a couple of days ago. Y'all. I felt like a Mama Lion protecting her cub. I cannot imagine how her mom and dad felt. I've met Taylor. She hugged my daughter and talked about boots and hair and bracelets and guitars. She made her feel like a rock star. She was poised, polite, gracious, and extremely humble. She puts on a great concert. I can let my girls listen to her music with NO CONCERN about questionable lyrics or content. Her mama and daddy have raised her RIGHT and should be (and are) very proud of her. I think that of all the people Kanye could target, he chose the one person that EVERYONE would defend. Even people like Pink, Joel Madden, Beyonce, & Katy Perry, who are as musically opposite as Taylor as humanly possible, came to her defense immediately. No one condoned Kanye's actions. As Katy Perry tweeted, it was like he stepped on a kitten. I hope he apologizes to HER. Not to her via Leno. She will be fine. She has been slapped hard, but will make a rebound like the class act that she is.

8. Mary Emma broke her arm. She fell off her scooter. She has a hot pink cast. I feel like I've now been initiated into the "official parent" club. She has to cheer for a football game tonight and it's supposed to rain, so we'll see if she can cheer with her arm wrapped in a trash bag.

9. I take Mary Emma today to the Orthodontist to begin the braces process. Guess whoever doesn't sell their kidney to pay for camp will get to sell their to pay for braces. And I totally thought that once kids got out of formula and diapers they got cheaper. HA.

10. Camille hasn't passed out at MDO yet. I've warned the teacher, though. I don't think it's too far out. She's getting more comfortable at school (read: fearless), so it's only a matter of time.....

11. Tait has come out of her shell. She's the "shy one." But she found her voice. And she is LOVING school and making new friends. Last year she pretty much kept to herself and wouldn't talk to or play with many kids. Now she's becoming the social butterfly at school that she is at home. And DANG if she isn't she sweetest thing on the earth.

I think we're all caught up now. Hope to blog more often that once every 3 months. Seriously.

So check back. Mkay?

Have a great day!

Vacay Update Real Quick Like.

So, we left Alabama on Sunday and drove to Memphis.

Then on Monday, we drove to Missouri and took Mary Emma to camp.

We had to FORCE HER to say goodbye to us. She was THAT excited about camp. I guess that's a good problem to have!

Monday night, we ate dinner at Fudruckers. It was my maiden voyage to Fudruckers.

Tuesday morning, I was in the hospital with food poisoning due to said dinner at Fudruckers. My maiden voyage was also my final voyage.

Spent Tuesday and Wednesday in the hospital. On my vacation.

I KNOW.

Got out Wednesday and filled $100 worth of prescriptions. For real. Well, actually, $92, but who's counting, right?

Slept in today and feel much better.

Went to a water park and Dixie Stampede tonight.

Doing the whole Branson thing.

Considering growing a mullet and smoking Marlboros. Nah, too manly. Marlboro Lights.

Thanks for reading about my week.

You may now resume your lives.

So, I'm Officially A Camp Mom

We are leaving tomorrow to take Mary Emma to camp. She is going to Kanakuk in Missouri all week next week. I'm nervous, I'm praying, I'm excited, I'm jealous (I would've LOVED this camp as a kid), and I can't wait to pick her up next Sunday and hear all about her week.

Here's her stuff.


The trunk and all of her stuff.


The inside lid of her trunk - with so many faces who love her. Hope this will help with homesickness.


The lid of the trunk. I'm a little OCD. Can you tell?


The lid and front of the trunk.

We'll be staying about 20 miles from her in Branson, MO for the week. I'll be blogging about our trip while we're there - assuming we have an internet connection - and will DEFINITELY be blogging about HER trip once we get home.

Here's a little hint about what you'll get after she gets home - her grandfather (THANKS POP!!) had a little old digital camera that he gave her to take to camp. I am sending 2 sets of replacement batteries. She has a 1G memory card. She's 8 years old. I CANNOT WAIT to see her camp experience through HER eyes! I'll be sure to share it with you here!

Talk to ya later!

We Interrupt This Bloggy Break For A Bit Of Real Estate News

I think I want to sell my house. Like for a dollar.

Let me tell you why.

Last night, I was up WAY too late (thank you, prescription decongestant, for keeping me awake until 2:14 even though the doctor said you wouldn't) and decided to iron Spencer's shirt for work today. I walked into my dining room where the ironing board is set up (hush, don't judge me - yes, I keep the ironing board set up most of the time) and turned on the light.

There was a massive, people-eating, disgusting, HUGE, roach on my wall.

Sidenote: roaches in Alabama are common. We have a lot of trees in my back yard and pay a pest control company religiously to spray for them so they stay out of the house. Occasionally one gets in but usually meets a quick demise thanks to said pest control company. This one, however, was alive and kicking. Y'all, he was so big that I could hear him run. **Shudder.**

Anyhoo.

I did what any self-respecting girl would do, which was call my husband in to get it. He came in wielding a flip flop and started banging and swatting the quick little fella, who promptly ran under the china cabinet.

Dang.

So we (and by "we" I mean "Spencer" - I was on a chair) pulled out the big guns - which was the ant & roach spray - and started spraying everything in sight. We were both coughing and hacking from breathing roach spray fumes when we saw a little wiggle down near the bottom of the china cabinet. So Spencer starts wailing on the wiggle with the flip flop, flash light, and roach spray can. He sprays so much roach spray on the wiggling thing that it's now swimming. Please remember, it's 2 AM and "we're" beating the floor so hard that I'm surprised the girls didn't wake up.

When "we're" sure the stupid bug has met it's maker, Spencer leans in for a closer look. The little "wiggle" wasn't the roach.

It was a scorpion.

And guess what? Roach spray doesn't kill a scorpion. It just ticks it off.

So here's the scenario. 2 AM, floor covered in roach spray, big brave husband in his underwear battling a roach and NOW a scorpion, chicken wife standing on a chair, roach's whereabouts unknown, TICKED OFF scorpion's whereabouts known, and the battle begins again.

Spencer decided that the flip flop wasn't the appropriate tool for scorpion killing, so he resorted to the bedroom slipper tool and soon made mush of the scorpion. One down, one to go.

Roach with unknown whereabouts soon reared his ugly head and ran into the laundry room. I had a broom and the can of roach spray and was spraying and beating the roach. Meanwhile, Spencer is laughing and making fun of me for, and I quote, "hitting the roach like a sissy." Stupid roach ran under the washing machine, but was COVERED in roach spray, so we just knew he would take his final breath there.

BUT NO.

Just like a horror movie, the roach ran out from under the washing machine where Spencer hit it with the flashlight. And the little thing KEPT GOING. So Spencer reached for the bedroom slipper and ended the whole thing.

And you can understand why I didn't get much sleep last night. It's either me, or the roaches and scorpions.

And I don't go down without a fight.

Albeit, a fight while standing on a chair.

Dear Blog, I Miss You

I am such a bad blog parent. I have neglected my wee little blog and am so ashamed.

However, in the spirit of summer, I am completely and totally swamped, busy, exhausted, tan-lined, and bug-sprayed.

It's All-Star season, people. And we are in it THICK.

So I'm gonna take a little break for the month of June. I'll be on here periodically and will definitely be checking your blogs, but just don't have enough hours in the day to keep up with mine right now.

But before I leave, I'll give you a few stories to make you chuckle.

And they will be in list format because that's how I roll. Booyah.

1. Camille passed out in the nursery at VBS yesterday. Apparently I "forgot" to tell them that she did that from time to time. Freaked those people slam out. They almost called 911. Oops. Sorry.

2. Note to self: remember to tell new nursery workers that Camille has a tendency to pass out when she gets upset or hurt.

3. Camille carried Tait's baby doll (one of about 3 zillion that she has - Tait is baby doll obsessed) around today constantly. This particular baby doll is African-American. Camille called the baby "Baby Uncle Stuart" today which is hilarious. Uncle Stuart is Spencer's brother. He is neither a baby, a girl, or an African-American.

4. I made banana bread from scratch the other day. It was amazing. Here's the recipe. I left out the nuts because ew.

5. I'm teaching VBS. I'm pretty sure I was either crazy or drunk (for anyone who knows me for real, this is quite humorous) when asked to volunteer. Because I don't have enough to do during the month of June as it is....

6. Tomorrow is Spencer's 35th bday. I adore him. He's my favorite person in the whole wide world and I hope he has a fantastic birthday. Thank you, God, for Spencer.

7. I'm currently obsessed with The Bachelorette, So You Think You Can Dance, What Not to Wear, and Law and Order SVU. Oh, and Reba. But that one could've gone without mentioning because duh.

8. I attended Living Proof Live for Minister's Wives back in February? March? Can't remember. Anyhoo, Lifeway video taped the entire event and is offering it as a digital download. Let me tell you something. Go get it. Even if you aren't a Minister's Wife (I'm not). It's relevant to the average church-going woman, funny, soul-searching, and in-your-face-just-what-you'd-expect-from-Beth-BRINGING-IT-good. And it's only $19.99. Click here to find out more or order.

I think that's all. Now I'm going to bed. It's June 2 and June is already well on its way to Kicking. My. Tail.

Nite peeps. See you in July.