Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Update on the Torture....

Well, I'm home from my assessment. I had to sit in a "Bod Pod" in a bathing suit and a swim cap (hott, I tell ya) and have my body fat electronically measured. Then I had to do the old school "V-Sit" and test my flexibility. Then I had to walk a mile. Then I had to use several weight machines and test my strength.

You know what they concluded?

I'm overweight and out of shape.


But I am very strong - my strength test landed in the "way above average" column.

Um, yay?

Now let's see if we can get the other columns looking better, shall we?

Except I'm not so sure my legs are gonna work tomorrow.

Because I'm All About the Torture.

Hubs and I joined a gym yesterday. We have been contemplating joining said gym for a little over 2 years. We think about what we want for dinner for about 0.2 seconds, but joining a gym takes over 2 years.

See a problem?

Enter: gym. Time to correct the problem.

We're committed for a year. We signed the contract. We paid the "Assessment Fee." We're in.

Then they asked up to sign up for our 1st Assessment time. Did you catch that? First one. There will be more.

Anyway, mine is today. I'm contemplating skipping it to go get a root canal or visit the OBGYN, because I'm sure either of them will be more fun.

Here's what "The First Assessment" includes...

1. Body Fat Assessment. I get to wear a one piece bathing suit (oh good. Glad they clarified that. I might've showed up in my thong. How embarrassing that would be.) and have a really skinny, rock hard person not only look at my fat, but pinch it, measure it, and write notes about it. Can't. Wait.
2. Flexibility Assessment. I have no idea how they're gonna do this, but I can't imagine that it's comfortable. Can't. Wait.
3. Strength Assessment. I should ace this one. I carry around toddlers all the time. I ain't scared of this one.
4. Cardio Assessment. This is where I get to walk/run on a treadmill while the same skinny, rock hard person stares at me. Since my cardio for the last oh 7 years has included the occasional walk in the neighborhood, climbing the 2 flights of stairs in my house numerous times, and catching kids as they come down a slide, I'm sure there will be sweating, breathing hard, not breathing at all, a red face, and potential death. All while being watched, monitored, and written about on the clip board. Can't. Wait.

Then I get to sit, sweaty and out of breath, while she tells me that I'm fat and outta shape. Clearly she spends her free time as a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon. Genius.

However, in the spirit of getting healthy so I can be around for my great-grandkids' weddings, I'll endure it. The torture is welcomed.

Now, let me go put on my gym clothes. Oh wait. I don't own any. Gotta put that on my list of stuff to get, because even though I might pass out on the treadmill, but I'm gonna look good doing it.

A girl's got her priorities.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Thank You, Interpeeps.

I think I might've mentioned once or 20 times before that I am not very internet savvy.

Let's clarify.

I can google and find anything on the internet. I can shop like a skilled professional on the internet. I can look up directions on how to replace tile or how to bake a ham or how to eat a guava fruit on the internet.

Except not the replacing tile part. I mean I can look it up, but let's be honest, I'm not gonna replace any tile. That's why God invented my Dad.

But stuff like replacing the header on my blog, or, for that matter, anything that requires html code isn't optional for me.

I just don't get it.

I have a dream to learn how to create a button. The other day, BooMama was saying that Shannon created a button for her. While Shannon's button is perfectly lovely, I am a little jealous of her button-making abilities.

Because y'all, I don't got em.

However, I just YESTERDAY learned about something that has changed my life. It's a phenomenon called "Google Reader." You, interpeeps, taught me about it. Apparently, something was going horribly wrong with Bloglines, which caused many of you to blog about switching to Google Reader, and me, being ever curious, had to check it out. (And just so you know, I have no idea what I just typed - I'm doing the ole "act like you know what you're talking about and people will think that you actually KNOW what you're talking about" bit). Oh my. It's awesome. Yes, I was a click click click kinda gal until last night when I sat and smiled at my Google Reader page. I didn't know what else to do but smile at it. If Google Reader were a person, I'd hug it and kiss its face.

I'm also amused by small things, in case you didn't catch that before.

So now that my internet savvy abilities have been taken to a whole new level, I have the confidence I need to learn how to create a button.

Or I'll just smile at Google Reader for a while.