Proud Mama

There are times in a parent's life when they watch their child do something that is mature beyond their years. It's humbling and beautiful and gives them a glimmer of hope that we are actually doing something right.


There are also times when the same child acts like a complete immature baby and you shake your head wondering where you went wrong and when the rapture will occur so that we can all live in heavenly bliss forever and ever amen. 


But that's a topic for a different post.


Friday and Saturday, I watched Mary Emma struggle with something, dig deep and find some determination, and grow up about 10 years in front of my eyes. I am still in awe.

As always, our worlds revolve around softball. Especially this time of year. All 3 girls are playing and loving it. But Mary Emma has a passion and a focus for it that she doesn't have for anything else in her life. She's a pitcher, so she practices with her team 2x a week plus weekly pitching lessons and daily workouts. She breathes softball. She plays travel ball in the fall and rec ball (where all of her friends are) in the spring. This is her last year playing rec ball - she's going full travel after June - so it's kind of her last hurrah. Her team right now, the Pride (named after the Profastpitch USSSA Pride - Mary Emma's dream is to play Pro Softball), played in a tournament this weekend. Many of her best friends in the world are on this team. She has a ball on and off the field with these people. I love the parents. They are my closest friends and a complete JOY to be around.

Our 1st game was Friday night. Mary Emma was on the mound as usual - she was KILLING IT in warmups. She was confident and ready when the game started. And then it all fell apart. She spent the next 75 minutes desperately trying to find the strike zone. It was freezing and she couldn't feel her hand. The more she struggled, the more she fell apart. She walked batter after batter - most of the time going to a 3/2 count on all of them. We ended up losing 2-0. The other team didn't put a ball in play - their only runs came from being walked in. After the game, she was sad and frustrated. But mostly she was furious. She knew that the loss was her fault and she was not happy.

See, Mary Emma has recently struggled with her confidence. She is constantly questioning everything in her life - from friends, to abilities, to intellect, to size (she's really small - especially for a pitcher). We have been talking with her and loving her and working on her confidence for MONTHS now. But we can't maker her see what we see. We can't make her recognize her own talent. She has to realize it on her own, no matter how many times we tell her that she's good. (And y'all, she's GOOD.) I fully expected the Saturday games to be a repeat of Friday - that she would tell herself that she couldn't pitch well and it would be a short day for the Pride.  I even went to the ballpark with no cooler, no snacks, and about $9 cash. (For anyone who has a kid who plays in all day tournaments, you know that you pack your entire kitchen plus about $50 for a day at the ballpark - you OVERPREPARE.)

However, she woke up Saturday with a determination that I haven't seen on her in a while. Actually, I haven't seen this level of determination ever. She was READY. And to the ballpark we went. At 7:30AM.

We ended up playing 4 games Saturday. We finished 3rd in the tournament - crawling our way out of the loser's bracket. We lost our last game 3-2 in an International Tie Breaker. Mary Emma threw 218 pitches (not including warm-ups) all day. She walked 7 (SEVEN!!) people all day. She struck out 35 (!!). She got stronger as the day went on and performed at a level of someone twice her age. She gained confidence with each hour, and was on cloud nine when we left at 8:30pm. She was exhausted, dirty, and happier than I've ever seen her. EVEN AFTER A LOSS. She recognized her own talent. Finally.

I watched my baby girl grow up on Saturday. I watched her reach down and find something in herself that Spencer and I knew was there, but couldn't get her to realize. I watched her quote Phil 4:13 to herself before she threw every single pitch. I watched her have a BALL with her teammates. She cheered for them and they cheered for her.

I don't know if she'll ever realize her dream of playing Professional Softball. But today, I know that she knows that it's possible. And that is a huge step in the right direction.

Yo Yo Yo, We Need Some Snow!

Last night, there was a hint / mention / small possibility of 13-15 snowflakes to fall in Birmingham. Since meteorologists are always completely accurate in their snow forecasts down here (ahem), the girls decided to work their snow magic and help bring the snow a little further south. A couple of years ago, the folks at the weather channel were also predicting snow, and my little southern girls wanted to guarantee it - so we searched online as well as talked to our friends to the north and asked for superstitions that helped bring snow.  I think we got 8 or 9 flakes during that time. But my kids are resilient and don't give up on their dreams of wearing 20 layers of clothing to play in wet, cold, slushy, mud. So again, pajamas were worn inside out, ice cubes were flushed (seriously, DOZENS of them - Camille fully embraces the "go big or go home" mentality), and spoons were placed strategically under their pillows. Actually Camille had a fork under hers. Apparently the "go big or go home" mentality is a little lax on rule specifics. They also made up a song to further their chances of snow. Spencer filmed it. Because he puts them to bed every night (praise the Lord - mama's work is done BEFORE bedtime) and because he rocks and wanted to share the awesome with me.


So, without further ado, I present to you "Yo Yo Yo, We Need Some Snow" - written by Mary Emma. Sung (and rapped - yes rapped) by Mary Emma, Tait, and Camille. Please excuse the cell phone quality - Spencer didn't want to miss the moment. :) Also pay close attention to Mary Emma's sah-weet beat boxing skillz, Camille's rhythm section (pat clap pat clap), and Tait's (my shy one) complete embrace of the gangsta attitude. You would never believe they are blonde headed little girls sitting on a Pottery Barn Kids bedspread if you didn't see it with your own two eyes. I KNOW.

Untitled from Robyn Davidson on Vimeo.

And just so you know, we didn't get any snow. However, after seeing this video, my happiness is complete - snow or not. :)

Raising Girls

Here are my notes from the Raising Girls breakout session at DotMom - lead by Melissa Trevathan and Sissy Goff. I will blog more about the conference later, but wanted to get these notes out asap. What a LIFE-CHANGING session.


I highly encourage you to also buy the book, All You Need To Know About Raising Girls by Melissa Trevathan and Sissy Goff. The notes from the session are basically a cliff notes of the book. The book is much more in-depth and specific than the notes are. But I was writing as frantically as possible in the hour long session. I could have sat there for 10 hours. GOOD STUFF.


Enjoy!

Raising Girls

The Discovery Years - Girls 0-5 Years

• She is…
• Relational
• Caretaking
• Baby dolls, mothering instinct
• Imaginative
• She needs from me…
• Boundaries
• These makes her feel safe
• Freedom
• Show her that you trust her by giving her some distance from you – like in a Chick-fil-A playground – but always stay near as she will constantly look for you and needs to be able to see you at a moment’s notice
• Delight
• She wants you to think she’s FANTASTIC
• When she walks in the room, she is WORTHY of my attention.

The Adventurous Years – Girls 6-10 years

• She is…
• Fearful
• Literal, concrete in their thinking
• Teach her that God is BIGGER than her fears
• Do not be grey – speak in black/white language only. (i.e. don’t shine a light under the bed to scare away the monsters. Teach her that there is no such thing as monsters. And then teach her that God will always take care of her)
• Relational
• Friendships are IMPORTANT
• Responsive
• Point this out to her when you catch her caring for a friend, being sweet to a sibling, etc. She needs to know that you notice.
• She needs from me…
• Opportunity
• They need something they can feel confident in (soccer, softball, art, piano, choir, chess…)
• Unity
• Especially between mom & dad
• Grace
• Teach her how to succeed AND fail.

The Narcissistic Years – Girls 11-15, 16, or 17 Years

• She is…
• Relational
• She needs friends.
• They are a POWERFUL force in her life. Help her choose them wisely and steer her away from bad influences. We still control where they go and who they hang out with outside of school.
• Insecure
• When guys fail, they blame others. When girls fail, they blame themselves.
• Ambivalent
• Her lack of decision-making skills is NORMAL.
• She will switch from loving you & hating you in a matter of seconds.
• As grown up girls, we will blame ourselves for this behavior. This is NOT our fault. Her brain is malfunctioning, and is a normal part of growing up. Love her through it – she will realize that she can count on you even when she isn’t nice to you.
• She needs from me…
• Space
• PRIVACY
• She’s working very hard to make and keep friends.           
• She needs time to decompress
• Allow her an hour or so in her room alone after school.
• Then require her to come out and be social with the family.
• It is not good for her to never have privacy. It is also not good for her to not be required to emerge and be social.
• Strength
• She needs me to be stronger & more powerful than she is.
• If she feels stronger than me, she will feel unsafe.
• She needs me to be her mother. NOT her friend.
• We want her to be excited about the day when we can be friends (not till after age 23ish)
• The Back Door – Sissy wrote a book about this. The Back Door To Your Teen’s Heart: Learning What They Need And Helping Them Find It  - Can find it on Amazon.com
• I need to be unpredictable in the way I communicate with her. If she thinks I’m looking for info from her, she will shut down. (i.e. have a friend pick up siblings from school one day. Take her, alone, to “run a few fun errands.” Stop by Starbucks (which she will think is cool) & just chitchat. She will tell you so much during this time because she won’t feel like she is required to.)

The Autonomous Years – Girls 16-24 Years

§       She is…

o      Relational

§       She will gravitate to 1 friend – often a guy. She wants to belong to somebody.

§       This is where some girls experiment with homosexuality. When they gravitate to a GIRL, who shows a special interest in them – some of them mistake this for love.

§       SHE NEEDS STRONG VOICES SPEAKING TRUTH INTO HER LIFE. This needs to be another adult. Not you. Youth groups / small groups are KEY here. She will listen to what she hears. We need to make sure the right people are talking. It’s key that when they are children we steer them toward friends who have parents who raise their children like we do.

o      Post-pubescent

§       Her body will be curvier

§       EMBRACE THAT. No girl has ever heard her mom say, “You need to lose weight” and has thought, “she’s right. I’ll get right on that.” This is where a lot of eating disorders start – when their mother tells them constantly that their body is wrong or should be changed.

o      Her own person

§       She needs from me…

o      Respect

o      Room to learn

§       Give her a few more privileges. We want them to make mistakes while they are under our roof where we can protect them, instead of sheltering them and then sending them off to college where we can’t protect them when (not if) they make mistakes.

o      Wings

§       Be CONFIDENT in her.

All About Me. In ABC Form.

A. Age: 36
B. Bed size: A king. Spencer and I had a queen forever, but switched to a king when we moved to Bham. We have topped it with super soft mattress pads and awesome sheets - we often lay in bed at night and say "I love my bed." It's the best bed in the world.
C. Chore that you hate: Cleaning the kitchen. Hate isn't even a strong enough word for it. HAAAAAATE.
D. Dogs: Piper. Adore.

E. Essential start to your day: Don't really have one. I hit the ground running every morning. I would love to have my quiet time before the kids get up, but that never happens. So I have it after everyone's at school.
F. Favorite color: Pretty much anything in the blue family. If you sit outside on a cloudless day and look straight up into the sky, that's my favorite shade of blue.
G. Gold or Silver: Definitely silver. But gold is making a comeback in my heart. Slowly.
H. Height: 5'3". Shorty McShorterson.
I. Instruments you play: Well, I took about 200 years of piano lessons, so I play piano. But Mary Emma is taking guitar, so I'm learning that with her. So far, I can play B,C,D,E,F,G and the G chord. Go ahead. Be impressed. ;)
J. Job title: Mommy, wife, taxi driver, team mom, cheerleader, nurse, homework helper, cook, housekeeper, & dog sitter. My favorites are mommy and wife.
K. Kids: 3. My heart.
L. Live: Birmingham - I have always wanted to live here and I love it now that I do.
M. Mother’s name: Gini. Short for Virginia. Named my middle daughter after her. Love her!
N. Nicknames: Don't really have any. Have been called Rob or Robby in the past. Had a friend call me Bird for all of high school. Lisa calls me Hosay. My maiden name is Hose. Yes, I've heard every possible joke about that one.
O. Overnight hospital stays: 3 kids, 1 gallbladder, and 1 food poisoning. Boo on the last 2.
P. Pet peeves: Shallow people, rude people, and food smacking.
Q. Quote from a movie: I don't know that I have a favorite quote. I definitely have favorite movies. But not really a quote. Lame. Sorry.
R. Right or left handed: Right hand all the way! Not sure why God even gave me a left hand. It's basically useless.
S. Siblings: One brother, Adam. I adore him. I also really really REALLY love his wife, Lindsay. I'm also a HUGE fan of Spencer's brother and sis-in-law, Stuart & Angela. Good people.
U. Ultimate Vacation: Australia. Or one of those houses with a glass floor that sit out in the ocean in Bora Bora.
V. Vegetable you hate: Cauliflower. It's broccoli's mean cousin.
W. What makes you run late: See letter K.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Nothing exciting. Broke my foot once. BORING.
Y. Yummy food that you make: I can make a mean lasagna. And the white BBQ sauce that I make has been known to make grown men cry.
Z. Zoo animal: Giraffe. Or lion. Fascinating. Why? No idea. But just roll with it.

Thanks, Lindsee, for this idea! It was mindless and fun!

Let The Deliciousness Commence.

We are currently 3 days from the start most wonderful time of the year for most people in the South. College football season technically begins tomorrow night with a couple of Thursday games, but REALLY begins Saturday. And as you already know, last year was a pretty successful year for my Tigers, so I'm really looking forward to this year.

My real life friend, Boomama, is hosting a DipTacular bloggy event where bloggers post their favorite dips on their blogs and then link over to her blog. Football Saturdays are about football watching, but are also about fellowship, neighborly get-togethers, and tailgaiting. And none of these can happen without food. The better the food, the better chance your team has to win. I fully believe that. So there's a LOT at stake here. Bad food = bad game = you will most likely be excommunicated from the next game day party. And that would be A SHAME, friends.

So I'm participating. All to keep the Tigers winning. And because it's fun. :)

My first dip was one of those "required foods" at every youth group event when I was in high school. The parents always served it with fruit, but let's be honest -we just wanted a spoon. It's that good. I've made it for many wedding/baby showers as well. It's pretty, and it's best served with strawberries (or, again, just sit down with a bowl & a spoon). And you won't believe how easy it is.

Ingredients:
1 large bowl Cool Whip
3 Butterfinger candy bars

THAT'S IT. To make it, put the unwrapped Butterfingers in a ziploc bag and smash them with a hammer or a rolling pin. They crumble easily, but not if you hold them - they melt. Once crumbled, mix them in the cool whip and place it in the refrigerator overnight. The Cool Whip makes the Butterfingers almost dissolve - leaving the flavor and only a few larger pieces. It's DELICIOUS on fruit - we always ate it on strawberries. Your guests won't know what they're eating, but they will LOVE it.

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My 2nd dip is one that I can't possibly improve upon. So I'll just link it. The Pioneer Woman's Queso - here's the link. It's DELICIOUS and lasts for a while in the crockpot. It also freezes beautifully (name that movie). It's a required food on game days at my house.

Be sure to link over to Boomama's DipTacular '11 and let the good times roll. And, of course, I hope you have a successful football season - unless you're Alabama or are playing Auburn. Then I just hope no one on your team is injured during the game.

Happy dipping and War Eagle.

Catching Up.

Sweet mercy it has been forever since I've posted anything. I always say that our summers are going to be quieter and less busy, and they are always jam packed and full of obligations. But even though we run non stop, we love it. So here are a few pics to catch you up.

Mary Emma & Tait both played All-Star softball this year. This was ME's 5th year and Tait's 1st year. We had a BALL!

Daddy turned 37! I would call him an old man, but I'll be 37 in October. :) So I'll refrain from doing that...ahem.

This sweet one turned SIX in July. She also lost 3 teeth, including 2 at the same time. She's growing up FAST!

Camille finally conquered her fear of the ocean and is now a queen of the Boogie Board. She's also pretty cute.

These 3 continue to make me laugh, warm my heart, and thank God for his blessings in my life. School starts in less than a month and our days will be back on a routine and our bedtimes will be early. But for now, we're enjoying being together and making memories as a family.

Radical Together

This officially releases today.



If if changes my life like its predecessor, then I'm. In. Trouble.

But an awesome kind of trouble. Looking forward to that trouble. To God be the glory!

Perspective.

My family sponsors a child through Compassion International. His name is Nevine, he lives in Kenya, and he just turned 17 years old on Valentine's Day. We have been sponsoring him for about 5 years and have enjoyed writing him, and learning about him from Compassion and from the letters we receive from him. We love LOVE getting letters from him. It thrills my girls and absolutely makes our day when we see a Compassion envelope in the mail. Letters that are sent to the kids and letters that they send their sponsor family are screened, and translated if necessary. Nevine can write and speak English (thanks to the schooling he receives through Compassion), and the only translation that takes place is an occasional slang word or geographically specific term that I might not understand. But for the most part, his letters are all him. And I love them.

Because of the screening/translating/distance, it takes a couple of months for letters to get from him to me and visa versa. This week I received a letter from him thanking us for the Christmas money that we sent through Compassion to him. He is allowed to use the money, with direction from his family and the Compassion staff, to purchase Christmas presents for himself. This is a picture of what he wrote.



If that doesn't put life into perspective, I don't know what will.

I'm so thankful that there are organizations like Compassion that allow me to be a part of his life. I'm so proud of him and his willingness to take care of his family. What an amazing young man he's turning into.

If you would like to sponsor a child from Compassion, click the link above. It costs $38 a month and you will be a part of releasing a child from poverty in Jesus' name. There's no bigger blessing on this planet.

Good Good Good.

I read a lot of blogs every day. So many people can write so much better than I can. So many people are so funny that my sides hurt from laughing when I read their posts. So many people are informative. And I love reading and knowing these people - some in real life.

But few are life changing. Few posts make your heart ache or your spirit stir. Few posts make me think until my brain hurts. And few posts bring me a step closer to my Heavenly Father.

This post does all that. And it was written by a sweet friend of mine, Melanie. If you don't read her blog (she's hysterical), bookmark it and read it everysingleday. While, on a daily basis, her blog is one of my favorite things to read, her heart, as evidenced in this post, is sweeter than anything on this planet. I adore her. And you will too.

Thanks, Mel.

Hey, Guess What?

WAR EAGLE!!!!

Scripture Memory

A couple of years ago, Beth Moore challenged all of those who read her blog to memorize scripture twice a month. Because we live in a world where we Christians are not only a minority, but are persecuted because of our faith daily, we are called to know His word - so that we are equipped when we are tested, tempted, or need to defend our faith (Psalm 119:11). And I know that I need to do a MUCH better job of this.

This year (2011) we are doing the scripture memorization again. And I'm really excited about it! My first scripture - which is also my theme for the year - is Galatians 5:1 - "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." I know that I tend to find a fault that I have, tell myself that I'm the only person on the planet with that fault, and then build a house and join the neighborhood association in the middle of that fault. But the Lord has called me to something different, and I will spend every single day this year reminding myself of the truth promised in Galatians 5:1. Because when I live in the yoke of slavery, the focus is on me - not on the Father. And the purpose of my life is to glorify Him.

So. On the 1st and 15th of every month, I will memorize a new scripture. If you'd like to join me, and the rest of Beth Moore's blog peeps, head over here and leave a comment with your chosen verse. I also ask (beg, plead) you to hold me accountable. When you see me in Publix, carpool, or gym, ask me what my scripture is. Let me know if you want me to do the same to you! Let's see how many people will join and stay the course for the whole year. We will be a POWERFUL force for our God when we are filled to the brim with the Word.

And I can't wait to see what will come of THAT.

Merry Christmas 2010!

I have inadvertently taken a bloggy break - the busyness of life (and 3 active kids) has kept me running. I am truly understanding first hand the meaning of the words "mom's taxi."

But this week, we have slowed down. We have stayed in our PJ's and watched movies. We have baked cookies and popped popcorn. We have spent time together as a family, just the 5 of us (the dog makes 6), and we have loved every single second of it.

So I'll be back in 2011 with more random and hopefully a bit of wisdom and humor thrown in. Until then, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Halloweeeeen!!!

Around here, Halloween is more of a reason to hang out with neighbors and walk around the neighborhood socializing than a time for scary and gore. We keep it low key and more of a "Fall Celebration" than anything else.

Except for the costumes. All 3 of my girls see Halloween very differently. Camille really doesn't care what she dresses as, and will change her mind 412 times before actually stepping outside to trick-or-treat. Tait decides the day after Halloween what she wants to be the next year and doesn't budge from that decision. Mary Emma, however, is in another league. She always has been. She decides what she wants to be, draws pictures complete with instructions, arrows, and map keys, and strategizes about how and when we need to start getting her dressed to maximize trick-or-treat time. She has pictures drawn on the back of her bedroom door planning her costumes till 2018. It's my "job" to fulfill a vision that is in her head. And we have a BALL doing it.

This year, Camille was a black cat, Tait was Dorothy, and Mary Emma was Elphaba (the green witch from Wicked). My sister-in-law is in the 2nd National Tour of Wicked, so we're a little obsessed with the Land of Oz around here right now.






I hope you had a successful Halloween full of Milk Duds and miniature 100 Grands. I actually read on the Twitter that someone was pilfering through her child's Halloween stash and found a REGULAR SIZED 100 Grand. I do believe the Lord smiled upon her household in that very moment.

And now, on to Thanksgiving. Which is my personal favorite. :)

I'm Not A Fan Of The Scary

Tonight after dance class, the kids and I went to one of our favorite Mexican restaurants for dinner. And yes, I said "one of our favorite" - we have many. I'm pretty sure my little family would fare well in the heart of Texas with all its tacos and queso and salsa goodness. I just need to teach Mary Emma that "chicken fingers" does not equal Mexican food.

When we walked in, we saw three life-sized zombie mannequins sitting in chairs. The restaurant was full of spider webs and skeletons and all the Halloween paraphernalia, so the zombie guys didn't get much attention.



However, I didn't know one little detail about the zombie guys.

The one on the left was real. And he jumped at me. And I almost LAID. HIM. FLAT. The kids were surprisingly not scared (they didn't witness the jumping at me) and actually shook his hand (he was VERY gentle with the kids).

But I'm not sure when my heart rate will return to normal or the blood will reenter my face.

Stupid Halloween.

Well, Lookie Here.

Yesterday was my birthday. And apparently the folks at the BCS love me, because this is what I got for my birthday.



How 'bout THAT?!

Now I know it might not last. Especially since the top ranked team has LOST for the past 3 weekends, and since we have 3 SEC games left to play (including Alabama...boo hiss!). But right now, I'm gonna ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

WAR EAGLE!

Ramblings....

I thought that having all 3 kids in school would allow me to have a little more free time, but I WAS WRONG. Camille goes to school 3 days a week from 9-1 and I'm pretty sure time is sped up during those precious 4 hours so that they seem like a blur. And apparently laundry doesn't wash, fold, and put itself away, and my kids are TRUE GIRLS and love to change clothes once or eleven times a day. Not to mention the abundance of red dirt covered softball clothes that frequent my hampers... (cue banging head on wall)

So, due to sheer insanity and busyness, here are a few things (in list form. Booya.) that I think you should know about...

1. My church just released a CD of original music. It's GOOD. And in keeping with the Radical theme, ZERO church budget dollars were spent on the making of this CD. There are also chord charts, lead sheets, lyrics, etc. for each song that are available for anyone to download - they are SERIOUS about making these songs available for churches and groups to use to worship. It's all about Him - praising Him and worshipping HIM - not about making profits and keeping songs tied up in copyright restrictions that keep groups from being able to use them.



2. We have a new addition to our family - a precious little ShihTzu named Piper. She has been a JOY and the girls are absolutely in love with her. The other day, Mary Emma taught her a trick, which has cracked us all up. Here's the video.

Piper Saying Please from Robyn Davidson on Vimeo.

3. Weight loss update - I have now been working with my trainer, Beth, as well as working a LOT by myself and have lost 32 lbs. I'm pleased with those results even though the impatient me wants that number to be doubled. There are some things about losing weight (I mean losing a LOT of weight) that I wasn't either ready for or didn't realize would be such an issue. First, losing weight is EMOTIONAL. Because in order to lose weight and KEEP IT OFF, you have to face why you gained it in the first place. Hello, cry fest. But I'm working through some stuff, and I plan on reaching my goal and STAYING THERE. Second, I didn't realize how important a support system is. My husband is fantastic and is on this journey with me (stupid butt has lost 54 lbs. - and of course I'm kidding, but WHY can't girls lose weight like boys?? - he looks amazing and I'm so proud of him!). Your comments mean the WORLD to me. And even though a trainer is expensive, Beth has become a great friend and an even bigger encourager. She is helping save my life. Literally. While at the same time she is kicking my behind all over the gym twice a week. I'm in pain today from the workout yesterday. And I'm oddly loving that. :)

4. HOW BOUT THEM AUBURN TIGERS????? War Eagle! I was so glad they played La Monroe last weekend and won by 50 points. These last minute nail biters are killing me. I just really REALLY need someone to beat Alabama. South Carolina, it's your turn. Please take care of business this weekend.

5. This post by Vicki Courtney had me nodding my head and clapping my hands. PREACH, sister.

6. I got some new kicks this week. Apparently the old me could hang on to tennis shoes for ever. But the new, running, gym rat me can wreck a pair of tennis shoes. I got these.

And since the whole Facebook "I like" status has taken Breast Cancer awareness to a tasteless level, I'm glad a portion of the price of these shoes go to Breast Cancer research.

That's all. Have an awesome day. Enjoy the weather - it's GORGEOUS in Birmingham!

The Story of Tait - Part 3

First, if you haven't read Part 1 or Part 2, go here and here.

Now you're caught up.

I have been trying to write part 3 for a while now. But I have some pretty strong emotions tied to it that have caused me to be a blubbering mess while writing it. This part has been hard. Because not only did we learn some pretty scary stuff about Tait, but I also saw God move in a way that I have never seen Him move before. I literally watched as prayers were answered in front of my eyes. And THAT, girlfriend, left me slack-jawed.

So here we go.

Every mom knows every square inch of their baby's body. They know about the freckle between their toes or the birthmark behind their ear. They know how to make a cowlick lay down and can tell you birth dates, birth weights, and shoe size of every one of their children. Because of Tait's ultrasounds, I can now recognize her INSIDES. :) I can now watch as the ultrasound tech rubs the wand across her belly and back and know exactly what I'm looking at. I will also be able to know when something's wrong. Just like I did the first time they zeroed in on her right kidney.

Meanwhile, Spencer and I were at the HEIGHT of conflict about where to move when we came back to Alabama. There were a LOT of tears. There were a LOT of harsh words spoken. There were a LOT of prayers. I was questioning everything - my marriage, my faith, my ability to mother this child who was sick, my ability to mother my other child who wasn't sick... It was a rough time. If we were going to move back to Alabama, I wanted to move to Birmingham. It's a great city with amazing little suburbs that have fantastic schools, etc. It seemed like the place where our family could settle for a long time. Spencer, on the other hand, wanted to move NOWHERE but Montgomery, where our families lived (and still do). We both call Montgomery home - we were raised there. But I knew that going back to a place where you have previously been is hard - if not impossible. Plus, the opportunities for our family were better in Birmingham. But he would have NO PART of it. He had interviewed for jobs in Montgomery - doors kept closing. I was noticing that more and more signs pointed to Birmingham, but I couldn't make him see that. I knew that the only way we were moving here was for God to change his mind.

Tait was 9 months old when a cyst developed in her right kidney. It was scrutinized and measured and noted and observed and we were told not to worry. YEAH RIGHT. 2 months later, she had 2 cysts in her right kidney and 1 in her left. An appointment was made with a pediatric nephrologist at Children's Hospital immediately. We drove to Birmingham (we were living in Tallahassee, remember?) for our appointment. We met this man who told us that Tait had poly cystic kidney disease (PKD) and would be facing a kidney transplant by her 14th birthday. He told us that she wouldn't be able to have children because of the stress on her kidneys. He laid out a plan for her life that included blood pressure medicine, no contact or rough sports (and if you know my family, we are ATHLETES), and very structured weight control. My mind was spinning as I listened to this very smart doctor tell me what a challenge her life would be. I stood in this room, holding my 11 month old, with tears pouring down my face.

Then he picked up her chart and said, "Hold on. The cysts could actually be a by-product of her BWS, but I don't have any experience in that area." Then he said words that I will never forget as long as I live. He said, "There are 4 doctors IN THE WORLD who are leading specialists in pediatric kidney disorders AND genetic disorders and how the two are related." Then he pointed to a door and said, "We have one of them here on staff and her office is right there. Would you like me to make you an appointment with her?" You could've knocked Spencer and me over with a feather. Spencer turned to me and said, "We're moving to Birmingham." My prayer was answered in the basement of Children's Hospital, on a day that was proving to be one of the worst ones of my life. Turns out, it was one of the best.

We made an appointment to meet with Dr. Lisa Guay-Woodford, a Harvard educated, multi-published, BRILLIANT doctor who is as sweet as she is smart. She loves on Tait and speaks waayy over our heads. Spencer and I get tickled every time we see her because when she walks out of the room, we try our best to translate into "normal people words" what she has just said to us. The first time she met us, she told us that she did NOT think Tait had PKD. She thinks that the cysts are part of BWS. She thinks that more kids than we realize probably have renal cysts, but most kids don't have abdominal ultrasounds to check. She thinks she will never have any trouble with them. She wants us to keep them monitored, which we do at her quarterly ultrasounds. She breathed life back into our daughter and told us that she was normal, healthy, and should be able to have 6 kids if she wanted. She eased our minds and calmed our hearts.

We now see Dr. Descartes every year. She is in charge of all of the other doctors. She schedules everything and any new doc is run through her first. It's nice to know that one, of our many docs, is the one in charge. There's no conflict with power. We see Dr. Guay-Woodford twice a year to check and monitor Tait's kidney function (which has been totally normal). We see an allergy/asthma specialist - Tait has seasonal allergies, as well as allergies to cats and dogs, just like every kid on the planet. But because of her large tongue, thus causing a smaller airway than most kids, when she gets any upper respiratory sickness, she is SICK - like hospital sick. It can and does cause airway/breathing issues. We never travel without a stash of allergy meds and a nebulizer for wheezing. But we have a doc monitoring that closely. Tait goes to kindergarten like all other 5 year olds. She is smart, developmentally ahead of her classmates, has a precious shy smile, and has a laugh that will melt your heart. She is expected to grow old, be a grandmother, and live a completely normal life. She is still monitored every 3 months via ultrasound for any developing tumors, but other than that is completely normal.

We moved 3 months later to Birmingham. Spencer looked at the job postings within his company the night we got home from the doctor and found a brand new opening in Birmingham. Very funny, God. :) He interviewed and got it. It was a little bit of a promotion and a little bit of a raise. We bought a house that had been on the market for 6 days. We have amazing friends, an AWESOME church, a wonderful community, and the best doctors in the world for our girl.

There are days when I get a little freaked out at the constant cancer monitoring that she goes through. It's not easy. It can take a toll on a mom's psyche. But God did not give me a spirit of fear. And I have to claim the promise that NO MATTER WHAT the tests show, My God Will Take Care Of Me. He has proven Himself faithful during the first 5 years of her life. And He will continue to be that way. He is the only one who loves her more than Spencer and I do. And My God Will Take Care Of Her.



Praise His Name. To HIM be the glory.

What I Made For Dinner Tonight

I was reading Clean Eating magazine the other day (you know, the whole change of lifestyle, getting fit, working with a trainer, taking Advocare products (by the way, if you're at all interested in that, let me know...I can help you out...see side bar to the RIGHT for an Advocare link if you're interested...), losing weight thing) and came across this recipe for Jambalaya. I showed it to Spencer who immediately said, "I think that should go on the menu soon...like tonight." So I made it tonight. It was FAB - quite possibly my favorite meal lately. Well, except for some Sea Bass that Spencer cooked on a cedar plank on The Big Green Egg - seriously, it would make you cry. But it's a close 2nd place. And since a blog is really just the 21st century version of writing letters and sharing recipe cards, I decided to share it here with you. Or, if you'd like, you can pick up the July/Aug 2010 issue of Clean Eating, which I highly recommend, because there were several more yummy looking things in there that I haven't tried yet. But will.

This jambalaya is made in a foil pouch, which makes clean-up a BREEZE. Just FYI.

Ingredients:
- 1/2 lb raw shrimp (26/30 size), peeled & deveined, tail on (I used a little more than 1/2 lb.)
- 4 oz boneless, skinless chicken breast, diced into 1 inch pieces (I used 1 regular sized chicken breast - didn't weigh it)
- 1 all natural low sodium turkey sausage, sliced
- 1/2 medium white onion (I used a Vidalia onion) diced.
- 1 medium green bell pepper, diced.
- 1 rib celery, diced (I left this out altogether since Spencer is convinced that celery was invented by Satan, himself)
- 1 1/2 medium tomatoes, diced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 1/2 tsp salt free Cajun seasoning (I didn't have the salt-free kind, so I omitted the salt that comes later in the recipe)
- 1 C all natural instant brown rice (I used a little more)
- 1/2 C low-sodium chicken broth (I used a little more)
- Salt & fresh ground pepper to taste (I omitted the salt....I already told you that)
- Olive Oil cooking spray (I forgot to spray the foil pouches and it worked fine - oops)

Instructions:
- Preheat oven to 400*F.
- Mix all ingredients in a large bowl, except for the cooking spray. Duh.
- Prepare 2 foil pouches, spray each with cooking spray (unless you forget like I did), put half of the ingredients in each, and seal.
- Cook 25 min. Check after 25 min to make sure chicken, shrimp, & rice are all done. If necessary, re-seal and cook for another 5 min.

Nutrients per 1 1/2 C serving: (for those of you who keep with this sort of stuff...like me)
- Calories: 339
- Total Fat: 5g
- Sat fat: 1g
- Carbs: 24g
- Fiber: 3g
- Sugars: 3g
- Protien: 46g
- Sodium: 354mg
- Cholesterol: 171mg

Finished product....

The Story of Tait (part 2)

If you missed Part 1, go here.

Welcome back. ;)

When we left off, my sweet baby girl had come home from the NICU and was having some symptoms of something else being wrong - though none of us, including our pediatrician, could put our fingers on it. The 1st symptom was her size. She was born 5 weeks early, but weighed 7lbs 5oz. She was a giant compared to the other babies in the NICU. But her size didn't really raise a red flag. The symptom that really puzzled us was the size of her tongue. It was so big that she couldn't keep it in her mouth. It stuck out 100% of the time. She had a very difficult time eating because of it and we tried every single bottle nipple on the market before we found one that she could use. Her large tongue also meant that her airway was smaller, so she got sick easier. A common cold would land her in the PICU because it would turn into croup and other breathing problems. My father-in-law did a little research and found out that a large tongue could be because of a thyroid problem, so we had her thyroid checked. It was normal. Our pediatrician, Dr. Jim Ed Martin - seriously, who COULDN'T love someone named Jim Ed? - who was the pediatrician on call the weekend Tait was born and was a total and complete answer to prayer, didn't give up. He knew something was "off" and vowed to research and test until he figured it out.

Then one night, as I was up during the middle of the night feeding a newborn, I decided to do a little "home doctor research" - ie, Google research - on the computer. I Googled "infant large tongue" and the link to the Beckwith-Wiedemann Children's Foundation popped up. I clicked over and it was like I was reading Tait's biography. I, of course, freaked because I didn't know what this was, what the prognosis was, or what our lives were about to look like, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Tait had it.

In the middle of all of this happening, Spencer and I were really feeling the urge to move back to Alabama. We were living in Tallahassee, and loving it, but knew it wasn't home. However, WHERE in Alabama we would move to was a huge bone of contention between the two of us. We wanted 2 different things, and neither of us would budge on the issue. It was the first, and to date the only time that we haven't been able to come to a compromise on an issue that we were facing. We talked with our pastor about our conflict and he gave us some great advice that I will never forget. He told Spencer to use spiritual discernment when making the decision as to where we would move, not just decide based on what he wanted. He told me to shut up and hit my knees (not in so many words, but that's what I heard). Spencer was, and is, the head of the household. He is the leader, backbone, and breadwinner in this family. I knew that ultimately the decision was his, and that my job was to pray that he made a decision based on where God was leading us. It was a rocky time. I spent a lot of time in prayer. I begged God to send us to a city where there were more opportunities to grow and raise a family than where Spencer wanted to go.

Meanwhile, Dr. Jim Ed wanted us to go see a genetecist in Gainesville. Because Alabama is home, we chose to go to Birmingham, Children's Hospital, to see a genetecist there, instead of Gainsville, which has an amazing Children's hospital, but is completely foreign to us - with both of us being from Montgomery, Birmingham was much more familiar than Gainesville. Children's Hospital has an unbelievable reputation and we knew we would get world class care there. So we scheduled a trip to Birmingham to meet Dr. Maria Descartes, a spunky, brilliant, Hispanic doctor, who has become one of our favorite people in the world. Tait was 12 weeks old at the time. We were still living in Florida and still undecided as to where we were going to move. Spencer applied and interviewed for a couple of jobs in Alabama, and doors kept closing. Frustration was setting in. We had a 4-year-old, and a 3 month old who had a syndrome that no one had ever heard of, and scared the pants off of all of us. We were living 5 hours away from our families, and now we had a doctor that we loved in Birmingham - 6 1/2 hours away. I wanted to move to Birmingham. Spencer, to put it mildly, did NOT. To say times were tense is an understatement of epic proportions.

The test for BWS is very primitive, so Tait was clinically diagnosed with it. BWS is characterized as an "overgrowth syndrome." The main "issue" associated with BWS is that children with it have an increased risk of developing certain abdominal cancers within the 1st 8-9 years of life. BWS kids are tested every 6 weeks (until age 4) for hepatoblastoma (a tumor in the liver), and every 3 months (until age 8) for Wilms Tumor (kidney) and Neuroblastoma (affects the nerves, but mostly begins as a tumor on or near the adrenal gland). So Dr. Maria set up a schedule of tests for Tait, beginning immediately. The liver test requires a vial of blood to be drawn and the Wilms/Neuroblastoma test requires an abdominal ultrasound. Tests began and we had our new normal. BWS isn't usually fatal (praise HIM!) and Tait seemed to have a very mild case (many kids with BWS suffer from major eating problems because of their tongue size, and have to be tube fed until a tongue reduction is performed. They also have hemihypertrophy, which means that one side of the body grows at a different rate than the other side. Tait had none of those issues). We were rolling along quite well until one ultrasound threw a kink into our plans and completely knocked our feet out from under us.

To be continued....

The story of Tait. (part 1)

Last week, my middle baby turned 5. Because her birthday is on July 2, it gets smooshed into the festivities of the 4th of July holiday. However, it also lends itself to a lot of playing outside, swimming, and fireworks. What kid doesn't like that? But as we celebrate Tait's birthday, I also reflect back on my pregnancy with her, her birth, and infancy. It was a beautiful time. It was a hard time. It was a scary time. And it was a time where I grew closer to my Savior than I ever thought possible.

This is the story of Tait.

When Mary Emma was 2, Spencer and I decided that it was time to try to get pregnant again. I am very fortunate in that I get pregnant EASILY. So when we decided that it was time, I was pregnant in no time flat. After a trip to NYC, a torn arch in my foot, a cast, a DVT (MAJOR blood clot), and a hospital stay, I lost that baby at about 9 weeks. I was heartbroken. But I was determined to have another baby. So about a year later, I got pregnant again. I lost that baby at about 11 weeks. The doctors started running tests on my blood and realized that I have a situation with my blood that causes it to thicken when my estrogen levels increase (ie. pregnancy), and I was most likely losing the babies because of mini blood clots that were trying to pass through the teeny umbilical cord. So the doctors had me begin taking Heparin shots to thin my blood and fix the problem. And I got pregnant again. And lost that baby, too.

DEVASTATED.

I was hesitant to get pregnant again. I was heartbroken. I was tired. I was having to give myself 2 shots a day in the stomach. I had a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I was trying to be content with 1 child. But I wanted another child. Desperately. So I turned it over to God and trusted that He would take care of me and the baby that I longed for.

And I got pregnant again. And this time, I didn't lose the baby. But I was disconnected. I was hesitant. I was terrified.

I refused to get close to this baby. Spencer and I wouldn't name her. We didn't decorate a nursery until the last possible minute. We went about life as usual. At 34 weeks I didn't feel her move for an entire day. I. Freaked. I called my doctor who sent me straight to the hospital. I was having contractions every 2 minutes. I spent a weekend in the hospital and went home 3 days later on bed rest. I needed to keep this baby in for at least 4 more weeks. But 6 days later, she was coming and there was no stopping her. Because I was 35 weeks, they wouldn't stop my labor anymore. 6 hours, 1 failed epidural (read: natural childbirth), an entire host of on-call doctors because of the holiday weekend, and 3 pushes later, a beautiful 7lb 5oz baby girl was born. We named her Virginia Tait. Virginia was after my mother and grandmother. Tait was a name I just liked. It's different. It's sweet. And it fits her to a T. I remember crying and begging her to breathe. I didn't get to hold her. She breathed ok for a minute, and then started struggling. She was whisked out of my room and to the nursery before I really knew what was happening. The hospital where she was born didn't have a NICU. It was at a hospital across town. She was taken by ambulance to that hospital. I stayed at the 1st hospital. It was a holiday weekend. I was in a new town and state. I had very few friends and all of them were out of town. I had a beautiful baby girl who I couldn't see or hold. It was a horrible day and one of the best days of my life all combined into one.

The next morning, I was released from the hospital and went directly to the other hospital to be with her. I sat and held her almost around the clock. I was so swollen from the massive amounts of IV fluids that I had received (my blood pressure kept crashing) that I didn't have any shoes that would fit on my feet. And as I sat in the NICU, I realized how disconnected I had kept myself from her. I didn't think she knew that I loved her. So I sat. And I held her or kept a hand on her (she was on a ventilator for 2 days). And I told her over and over and over again that I loved her. Because I did. I loved her more than I knew was possible. I loved her like I loved her big sister. But I sobbed because this beautiful baby, who was fighting for her life, didn't know that her mama loved her. And she deserved the world.

I felt like I had already failed her.

And I started praying. I have been a Christian since I was a small child. But I was going through one of those super stubborn times where I was too self sufficient to NEED anyone and was completely content to do it all on my own. I certainly didn't need a God to take over. Because there was a chance that He wouldn't do what I wanted. And I wasn't gonna have any of that. In other words, I was STUPID. But my desire for God to take care of this baby clearly was overriding my need to be in control and I hit my knees. And you know what? He was there. He is always there. He never left, even though I pushed and pushed Him away. He was faithful just as it says in Psalm 145:13 (NIV) "The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made." Praise His Name.

So 6 days later, we were able to bring Tait home. Our sweet little family of 3 was now a busy, sleepless family of 4.

And then we started to realize that something else was wrong. Tait had some symptoms that were pointing to something being wrong, but no one knew what that was.

I started to think that we were going to lose yet another child. But this one had been born. She was alive. She had stolen our hearts. And again, we were scared to death.

To be continued.....