Monday, August 25, 2008

It's Long, But Hang With Me.

I am sitting on the plane returning from Living Proof Live in San Antonio. My mind is absolutely blown at the stuff that I’ve learned this weekend. Actually, I already knew it, but being the stubborn person that I am, I have ignored it, fought it, and flat out denied it.

Hang with me – I’m struggling to write sentences that make sense.

The theme of the weekend was Inheritance. We were taught that our inheritance always involves 3 things – Presence (the constant presence of God in our lives), People (God has blessed us with people and will continue to bless us when we are in Heaven), and Property (Beth cracked us up when she made a reference to Heaven not being a Ghost Town. We will not be see through. It’s a real, physical, actual place and we will be given a kingdom there – aka property).

Friday night was deep. There were lots of scriptures (anyone who has ever done a Beth Moore study understands her serious love of making you flip all over the Word to follow her – I have a sneaking suspicion that she watches her sessions on video and laughs at the Bible Drill that she inflicts on her audience) and it was pretty technical. The theology was fabulous and really made sense to me. Good music, check. Good worship, check check. Good teaching, check check check.

As I returned to my room Friday night, I prayed that Saturday’s message would be something that would be relevant and clear. I have been feeling the “tug” for about a year, sensing that God is wanting me to do something – having very little idea as to what it is, but really feeling unqualified and scared to branch out. I have prayed for clarity. I have prayed for answers. I have prayed to know that I am actually worth something.

Then came Saturday.

As I walked into the area Saturday morning, I had a sense that something was different. I was so eager to listen and continue what we had been learning about Friday night. Travis Cottrell and the Praise Team began the day with some awesome worship time and allowed me to focus, settle, and open my heart to what Beth was about to say.

Then she absolutely BROUGHT IT. I mean, seriously. That girl can teach. By point number one, I was a basket case of tears. I could hardly take notes because I was hysterical. Everything that I had been praying for over the past year was being clearly laid before me through Beth’s words. I felt like I was the only person in the room. She explained that not only was God my inheritance, but I WAS HIS. I am what He looks forward to. I am what He delights in. Me. He can’t wait to spend eternity with ME.

Now, I have always known that God loves me. I’ve never doubted that. I’ve wondered why some things have happened to me in the past. But I never doubted that God loved me. Now I clearly understand that not only does He love me, He CANNOT WAIT to hang with me in Heaven. He desperately desires to know me intimately every day.

That’s stinkin’ awesome.

You know what else? The same holds true for you. How incredibly cool is that? You are His inheritance. Ponder on that for a minute. It’s ok, I’ll wait.

I also learned that EVERYTHING in my life (good or bad) has been allowed by God for the sole purpose of glorifying Him. And if I don't use those life experiences (good and bad) to glorify Him, then they were all in vain. Think about that the next time you want to throw yourself a pity party.

So now, what do I do? I feel like the little “tug” that I felt earlier is more like a great big shout out. God is definitely calling me to work for Him. I am leaning more toward Bible teaching and writing, but seeing as how I am completely and totally unqualified for either, I feel like my main job right now is to get qualified. Get educated. Get smart. Also, there was one piece of advice Beth gave that was particularly poignant. When you are struggling trying to figure out what God wants from you, dive head first into the Word and you will have a head-on collision with it. It will be crystal clear. So that is my job. That is my prayer. That is what I need you to pray for me about.

Later Saturday, we had a chance to meet Beth. (She’s actually TALLER than I thought. Granted, she had on some fab wedges, but I thought she was way shorter than she is. Amanda and Melissa are much taller than I thought, too. In most people’s case, the camera adds 10 pounds. In Beth’s case, the camera shrinks her 6 inches. Weird.) We were divided into groups of about 50 and got to take a group picture with her. Then Beth, Melissa, and Amanda held a question/answer session with us. Let me tell you, too, Melissa is hilarious. She totally cracked me up. We could be BFF.

Sitting in the question/answer session was way cool. I love seeing the “real side” of people in the spotlight. I love knowing that they are normal people. That’s probably why I like to meet celebrities so much. Seeing them as real people, who are flawed, sometimes funny, sometimes a little too full of themselves, a lot of times more humble and shy that I would’ve imagined, allows me to keep it real. I have a tendency to get a little star struck, so meeting someone face to face curbs that a little. After seeing Beth in a comfortable, smaller, more intimate setting, I was able to replace in my mind the celebrity that I’ve watched on TV with the real person who was in front of me. I am no longer star struck because she is as normal as you and I are. I have an amazing amount of respect for her - as a person, as a mom, as a business woman, as a wife, and definitely as a Bible teacher. Her daughter, Melissa, called her a Spiritual Giant. How amazing would it be to have your own child call you that. That’s a goal that I am definitely striving for. Beth’s “Spiritual Giant-ness” has spilled out into her daughters – they are incredible people, too.

The Siesta Fiesta PJ Party was Saturday night. I didn’t have a good attitude about it before I got there. I mean, let’s be honest. 100 women in pajamas could get a little corny. I have to confess, it was probably the highlight of the weekend. I met AMAZING people like Jackie Sue, Wendy, Kathy - Actually, Kathy doesn't have a blog. She's a blog poser. She just hangs out with cool bloggy people because we are the coolest. Even people like me who tried to figure out where Isaacson, AL was, Annie (who is my long lost sister, for real), Emmy, Cindy, Crystal and her daughter Shaunessy, Linda, Lisa, and Melanie (aka BigMama). They were fantastic. I also got to see people who I already knew, but got to know them even more. People like Gayle and Sophie (aka BooMama). We laughed, we watched Erin breakdance-ish, We played games. We had a great time and I'm sad it's over.

I have waited a year for this trip. It did not disappoint. I had the time of my life and am so thankful for sweet hubs who kept the kids so I could go. I can't say that I'm back to my old life now, because my old life has a new purpose. Yes, I'm still a wife and mom and cook and chauffeur and maid and cheerleader. But now I'm also a woman who is desperately seeking the heart and will of God. I'd say that's a step in the right direction. Wouldn't you?


Toknowhim said...

Thanks for sharing... I didn't end up being able to go as the Fiesta got closer, but it seems all involved were blessed, and had fun to boot...

Blessings to you!!

AnnieBlogs said...

Looking back on the weekend, probably one of the highlight moments was sitting beside you and Erin. Seriously. Our long lost sibling ness would have found each other eventually, but I'm glad it was early in the weekend. :)

Jackie Sue said...

Loved this post...oh, wait, hated this totally stupid post. It was sooo lame. :) Seriously, you are going to have one heck of an adventure as you fall more in love with Him through His word.(wait, I forgot to tell you before that your blog is so ugly.)If you haven't done a Precept Bible study before, find one and join it. What Beth Moore does for your passion for Jesus, Kay Arthur will do for your passion for the Word. It is seriously like a college course. You will learn more than you knew you could. You are just fun, girl, and I can't wait to see where God takes you. I'll be there cheering you on!

Queen B said...

Awesome post. I'd say you just did a little teachin' right there, sister!

It was just what I needed to read today. I'll be praying for clear direction for you.

Jill said...

Okay, first disappointment since this whole weekend...I did not get to meet you...your post was a kicker...I had to breathe at the end for it was written as if I had wrote it are so right. I was there at the pj party, but overwhelmed with all the stories...I am looking forward to spending an afternoon with you and your girls via the blog...thanks.

Yolanda said...

Thank you for sharing!

I will be back and check in.


boomama said...

Love this, Robyn - it was great to see you again!

Vicki Courtney said...

War Eagle back to ya, Robyn! Wish we could have visited more! Paige had her retreat this past weekend and the bus caught on fire! I haven't had a chance to tell Sophie that one yet. Mercy.

Which one were you in? Paige had a hard time deciding at the end. I'm glad that part of it is OVER! I felt like I was going through rush w/ her!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Robyn. I'm so happy for you that you had such an amazing weekend. Don't you love it when God just throws a brick at your head and you all of a sudden GET IT. And let me tell you something: YOU CAN WRITE. You have a great "voice" that comes through on the page, and God can and WILL use that. Check out my post today about my own personal brick-to-the-head moment. Love you!

connorcolesmom said...

It was so good to meet you!!
I know with all the craziness of the fiesta it was hard to actually talk and I swear everytime I turned around in the PJ party I kept losing people LOL
It was a fun time though and I am so glad to have finally met you :)
You are a treasure and an heiress for sure :)
Love ya

Unknown said...

It was great to meet you :)
R <><

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

Robyn, I just love ya sister! YOU were one of the highlights of my weekend, for sure.

You are such an awesome person. You had my devotion forever the minute you showed me your wrist. :D

Great post!

Beth said...

Robyn - I stumbled upon your blog thanks to my blogging daughter (
and don't you know that God spoke to me LOUDLY through the first post I read! I actually quoted you on my blog this afternoon - gave you credit, of course.

Thanks for being so transparent with this post. I look forward to visiting here more in the future. By the way, I am also three girls' mom (plus two boys) and couldn't imagine anything better...

*Shannon said...

Sounds like you had an awesome time!!

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

So glad to have met you! Thanks for snagging the awesome seats for us, too. :)

Anonymous said...

I Loved your post on the weekend! Beth's message really spoke to me too. It was great to meet you at the party too (even though I was a little preoccupied with my kiddos and SO tired!).

Beth Cotell said...

Sounds like a wonderful weekend.

I too am trying to figure out God's purpose for my life. I purchased Beth's booklet "Discovering God's Purpose for Your Life" and it was all about spending time in the scripture.

I am trying to make more time for that everyday because I really want to know what my purpose here is.

I will pray today that you find yours as well!

edub said...

I love what God is doing in you.

I heart you and I miss you. If I were you I would get on iChat soon and talk to your nice friend Erin. (:

Mocha with Linda said...

Love your wrap-up! You are such a sweetheart. I'm glad we were able to meet. I look forward to getting to know you better.

Big Mama said...

Robyn! I loved meeting you and seeing pictures of your sweet girls this weekend. You are so fun and I'm glad we got to hang out for a little bit!

Phyllis said...

I'm so glad to hear all the details! I was praying, and I will continue to pray for you. I think you are qualified for writing. Your skill in writing shows through here on your blog, for sure.

Shelli said...

Heiress Robyn,
What am I... a ham sandwich?? You didn't even mention our in depth airport conversations... Just kidding!! LOL! You understand, I had to... :o)

It really was good to meet you and get to hang for a little bit before heading home. I mean who knew I would meet you guys at Micky D's.

Beth also rocked my spiritual world last weekend. I'll take all of that I can get!

Heiress Shelli

PS.. you're bookmarked now :o)

Anonymous said...

That sounds like such a wonderful, amazing time. Beth Moore is really something, isn't she?!