It's Long, But Hang With Me.

8/24/08
I am sitting on the plane returning from Living Proof Live in San Antonio. My mind is absolutely blown at the stuff that I’ve learned this weekend. Actually, I already knew it, but being the stubborn person that I am, I have ignored it, fought it, and flat out denied it.

Hang with me – I’m struggling to write sentences that make sense.

The theme of the weekend was Inheritance. We were taught that our inheritance always involves 3 things – Presence (the constant presence of God in our lives), People (God has blessed us with people and will continue to bless us when we are in Heaven), and Property (Beth cracked us up when she made a reference to Heaven not being a Ghost Town. We will not be see through. It’s a real, physical, actual place and we will be given a kingdom there – aka property).

Friday night was deep. There were lots of scriptures (anyone who has ever done a Beth Moore study understands her serious love of making you flip all over the Word to follow her – I have a sneaking suspicion that she watches her sessions on video and laughs at the Bible Drill that she inflicts on her audience) and it was pretty technical. The theology was fabulous and really made sense to me. Good music, check. Good worship, check check. Good teaching, check check check.

As I returned to my room Friday night, I prayed that Saturday’s message would be something that would be relevant and clear. I have been feeling the “tug” for about a year, sensing that God is wanting me to do something – having very little idea as to what it is, but really feeling unqualified and scared to branch out. I have prayed for clarity. I have prayed for answers. I have prayed to know that I am actually worth something.

Then came Saturday.

As I walked into the area Saturday morning, I had a sense that something was different. I was so eager to listen and continue what we had been learning about Friday night. Travis Cottrell and the Praise Team began the day with some awesome worship time and allowed me to focus, settle, and open my heart to what Beth was about to say.

Then she absolutely BROUGHT IT. I mean, seriously. That girl can teach. By point number one, I was a basket case of tears. I could hardly take notes because I was hysterical. Everything that I had been praying for over the past year was being clearly laid before me through Beth’s words. I felt like I was the only person in the room. She explained that not only was God my inheritance, but I WAS HIS. I am what He looks forward to. I am what He delights in. Me. He can’t wait to spend eternity with ME.

Now, I have always known that God loves me. I’ve never doubted that. I’ve wondered why some things have happened to me in the past. But I never doubted that God loved me. Now I clearly understand that not only does He love me, He CANNOT WAIT to hang with me in Heaven. He desperately desires to know me intimately every day.

That’s stinkin’ awesome.

You know what else? The same holds true for you. How incredibly cool is that? You are His inheritance. Ponder on that for a minute. It’s ok, I’ll wait.

I also learned that EVERYTHING in my life (good or bad) has been allowed by God for the sole purpose of glorifying Him. And if I don't use those life experiences (good and bad) to glorify Him, then they were all in vain. Think about that the next time you want to throw yourself a pity party.

So now, what do I do? I feel like the little “tug” that I felt earlier is more like a great big shout out. God is definitely calling me to work for Him. I am leaning more toward Bible teaching and writing, but seeing as how I am completely and totally unqualified for either, I feel like my main job right now is to get qualified. Get educated. Get smart. Also, there was one piece of advice Beth gave that was particularly poignant. When you are struggling trying to figure out what God wants from you, dive head first into the Word and you will have a head-on collision with it. It will be crystal clear. So that is my job. That is my prayer. That is what I need you to pray for me about.

Later Saturday, we had a chance to meet Beth. (She’s actually TALLER than I thought. Granted, she had on some fab wedges, but I thought she was way shorter than she is. Amanda and Melissa are much taller than I thought, too. In most people’s case, the camera adds 10 pounds. In Beth’s case, the camera shrinks her 6 inches. Weird.) We were divided into groups of about 50 and got to take a group picture with her. Then Beth, Melissa, and Amanda held a question/answer session with us. Let me tell you, too, Melissa is hilarious. She totally cracked me up. We could be BFF.

Sitting in the question/answer session was way cool. I love seeing the “real side” of people in the spotlight. I love knowing that they are normal people. That’s probably why I like to meet celebrities so much. Seeing them as real people, who are flawed, sometimes funny, sometimes a little too full of themselves, a lot of times more humble and shy that I would’ve imagined, allows me to keep it real. I have a tendency to get a little star struck, so meeting someone face to face curbs that a little. After seeing Beth in a comfortable, smaller, more intimate setting, I was able to replace in my mind the celebrity that I’ve watched on TV with the real person who was in front of me. I am no longer star struck because she is as normal as you and I are. I have an amazing amount of respect for her - as a person, as a mom, as a business woman, as a wife, and definitely as a Bible teacher. Her daughter, Melissa, called her a Spiritual Giant. How amazing would it be to have your own child call you that. That’s a goal that I am definitely striving for. Beth’s “Spiritual Giant-ness” has spilled out into her daughters – they are incredible people, too.

The Siesta Fiesta PJ Party was Saturday night. I didn’t have a good attitude about it before I got there. I mean, let’s be honest. 100 women in pajamas could get a little corny. I have to confess, it was probably the highlight of the weekend. I met AMAZING people like Jackie Sue, Wendy, Kathy - Actually, Kathy doesn't have a blog. She's a blog poser. She just hangs out with cool bloggy people because we are the coolest. Even people like me who tried to figure out where Isaacson, AL was, Annie (who is my long lost sister, for real), Emmy, Cindy, Crystal and her daughter Shaunessy, Linda, Lisa, and Melanie (aka BigMama). They were fantastic. I also got to see people who I already knew, but got to know them even more. People like Gayle and Sophie (aka BooMama). We laughed, we watched Erin breakdance-ish, We played games. We had a great time and I'm sad it's over.

I have waited a year for this trip. It did not disappoint. I had the time of my life and am so thankful for sweet hubs who kept the kids so I could go. I can't say that I'm back to my old life now, because my old life has a new purpose. Yes, I'm still a wife and mom and cook and chauffeur and maid and cheerleader. But now I'm also a woman who is desperately seeking the heart and will of God. I'd say that's a step in the right direction. Wouldn't you?