Vacay Update Real Quick Like.

So, we left Alabama on Sunday and drove to Memphis.

Then on Monday, we drove to Missouri and took Mary Emma to camp.

We had to FORCE HER to say goodbye to us. She was THAT excited about camp. I guess that's a good problem to have!

Monday night, we ate dinner at Fudruckers. It was my maiden voyage to Fudruckers.

Tuesday morning, I was in the hospital with food poisoning due to said dinner at Fudruckers. My maiden voyage was also my final voyage.

Spent Tuesday and Wednesday in the hospital. On my vacation.

I KNOW.

Got out Wednesday and filled $100 worth of prescriptions. For real. Well, actually, $92, but who's counting, right?

Slept in today and feel much better.

Went to a water park and Dixie Stampede tonight.

Doing the whole Branson thing.

Considering growing a mullet and smoking Marlboros. Nah, too manly. Marlboro Lights.

Thanks for reading about my week.

You may now resume your lives.

So, I'm Officially A Camp Mom

We are leaving tomorrow to take Mary Emma to camp. She is going to Kanakuk in Missouri all week next week. I'm nervous, I'm praying, I'm excited, I'm jealous (I would've LOVED this camp as a kid), and I can't wait to pick her up next Sunday and hear all about her week.

Here's her stuff.


The trunk and all of her stuff.


The inside lid of her trunk - with so many faces who love her. Hope this will help with homesickness.


The lid of the trunk. I'm a little OCD. Can you tell?


The lid and front of the trunk.

We'll be staying about 20 miles from her in Branson, MO for the week. I'll be blogging about our trip while we're there - assuming we have an internet connection - and will DEFINITELY be blogging about HER trip once we get home.

Here's a little hint about what you'll get after she gets home - her grandfather (THANKS POP!!) had a little old digital camera that he gave her to take to camp. I am sending 2 sets of replacement batteries. She has a 1G memory card. She's 8 years old. I CANNOT WAIT to see her camp experience through HER eyes! I'll be sure to share it with you here!

Talk to ya later!

We Interrupt This Bloggy Break For A Bit Of Real Estate News

I think I want to sell my house. Like for a dollar.

Let me tell you why.

Last night, I was up WAY too late (thank you, prescription decongestant, for keeping me awake until 2:14 even though the doctor said you wouldn't) and decided to iron Spencer's shirt for work today. I walked into my dining room where the ironing board is set up (hush, don't judge me - yes, I keep the ironing board set up most of the time) and turned on the light.

There was a massive, people-eating, disgusting, HUGE, roach on my wall.

Sidenote: roaches in Alabama are common. We have a lot of trees in my back yard and pay a pest control company religiously to spray for them so they stay out of the house. Occasionally one gets in but usually meets a quick demise thanks to said pest control company. This one, however, was alive and kicking. Y'all, he was so big that I could hear him run. **Shudder.**

Anyhoo.

I did what any self-respecting girl would do, which was call my husband in to get it. He came in wielding a flip flop and started banging and swatting the quick little fella, who promptly ran under the china cabinet.

Dang.

So we (and by "we" I mean "Spencer" - I was on a chair) pulled out the big guns - which was the ant & roach spray - and started spraying everything in sight. We were both coughing and hacking from breathing roach spray fumes when we saw a little wiggle down near the bottom of the china cabinet. So Spencer starts wailing on the wiggle with the flip flop, flash light, and roach spray can. He sprays so much roach spray on the wiggling thing that it's now swimming. Please remember, it's 2 AM and "we're" beating the floor so hard that I'm surprised the girls didn't wake up.

When "we're" sure the stupid bug has met it's maker, Spencer leans in for a closer look. The little "wiggle" wasn't the roach.

It was a scorpion.

And guess what? Roach spray doesn't kill a scorpion. It just ticks it off.

So here's the scenario. 2 AM, floor covered in roach spray, big brave husband in his underwear battling a roach and NOW a scorpion, chicken wife standing on a chair, roach's whereabouts unknown, TICKED OFF scorpion's whereabouts known, and the battle begins again.

Spencer decided that the flip flop wasn't the appropriate tool for scorpion killing, so he resorted to the bedroom slipper tool and soon made mush of the scorpion. One down, one to go.

Roach with unknown whereabouts soon reared his ugly head and ran into the laundry room. I had a broom and the can of roach spray and was spraying and beating the roach. Meanwhile, Spencer is laughing and making fun of me for, and I quote, "hitting the roach like a sissy." Stupid roach ran under the washing machine, but was COVERED in roach spray, so we just knew he would take his final breath there.

BUT NO.

Just like a horror movie, the roach ran out from under the washing machine where Spencer hit it with the flashlight. And the little thing KEPT GOING. So Spencer reached for the bedroom slipper and ended the whole thing.

And you can understand why I didn't get much sleep last night. It's either me, or the roaches and scorpions.

And I don't go down without a fight.

Albeit, a fight while standing on a chair.

Dear Blog, I Miss You

I am such a bad blog parent. I have neglected my wee little blog and am so ashamed.

However, in the spirit of summer, I am completely and totally swamped, busy, exhausted, tan-lined, and bug-sprayed.

It's All-Star season, people. And we are in it THICK.

So I'm gonna take a little break for the month of June. I'll be on here periodically and will definitely be checking your blogs, but just don't have enough hours in the day to keep up with mine right now.

But before I leave, I'll give you a few stories to make you chuckle.

And they will be in list format because that's how I roll. Booyah.

1. Camille passed out in the nursery at VBS yesterday. Apparently I "forgot" to tell them that she did that from time to time. Freaked those people slam out. They almost called 911. Oops. Sorry.

2. Note to self: remember to tell new nursery workers that Camille has a tendency to pass out when she gets upset or hurt.

3. Camille carried Tait's baby doll (one of about 3 zillion that she has - Tait is baby doll obsessed) around today constantly. This particular baby doll is African-American. Camille called the baby "Baby Uncle Stuart" today which is hilarious. Uncle Stuart is Spencer's brother. He is neither a baby, a girl, or an African-American.

4. I made banana bread from scratch the other day. It was amazing. Here's the recipe. I left out the nuts because ew.

5. I'm teaching VBS. I'm pretty sure I was either crazy or drunk (for anyone who knows me for real, this is quite humorous) when asked to volunteer. Because I don't have enough to do during the month of June as it is....

6. Tomorrow is Spencer's 35th bday. I adore him. He's my favorite person in the whole wide world and I hope he has a fantastic birthday. Thank you, God, for Spencer.

7. I'm currently obsessed with The Bachelorette, So You Think You Can Dance, What Not to Wear, and Law and Order SVU. Oh, and Reba. But that one could've gone without mentioning because duh.

8. I attended Living Proof Live for Minister's Wives back in February? March? Can't remember. Anyhoo, Lifeway video taped the entire event and is offering it as a digital download. Let me tell you something. Go get it. Even if you aren't a Minister's Wife (I'm not). It's relevant to the average church-going woman, funny, soul-searching, and in-your-face-just-what-you'd-expect-from-Beth-BRINGING-IT-good. And it's only $19.99. Click here to find out more or order.

I think that's all. Now I'm going to bed. It's June 2 and June is already well on its way to Kicking. My. Tail.

Nite peeps. See you in July.

Yes, It's A List. Get Over It.

I've noticed lately that a lot of people are blogging in list format. Those people are also apologizing for blogging in list format.

Howev, I'm a LIST MAKER. This post will be in list format. And I'm not sorry about it.

Just keeping it real, peeps.

Here goes.

1. I vowed (VOWED!) not to watch The Bachelorette this season because I was so annoyed with the whole Jason/Melissa TV break up saga soap opera. And since I've been rooting for her on DWTS and have seen how stinkin adorable she is, the situation has made me even more angry. Except for the fact that apparently she is now dating a guy named Ty (how ironically happy is that!) and is very happy, I still hate how the whole thing went down.

But last night, as I was completely unaware that The Bachelorette was even on, I flipped on Twitter and saw the stream of conversations revolving around the show. And since I am the epitome of strength when it comes to peer pressure, I immediately flipped the channel and was sucked in like a kid drinking a milkshake.

I've already set my TiVo to record the entire season.

Hi, my name is Robyn, and I am a weak, weak person.

I sure do hope there's more breakdancing, more Member's Only jackets, more country singing and guitar playing, and less Tanner, who is freakishly obsessed with Jillian's feet.

I also think I'm gonna start saying "aboot." Shout out to all those Canadian peeps and their awesome accents.

2. Does Sarah Palin say "aboot?" Because that would rock if she did. I wore my McCain/Palin shirt yesterday and got lots of compliments on it. I'm still hoping November was a bad dream and we have a different president.....

3. I'm pretty sure the counting, organization, sorting, and distribution of Mary Emma's All-Star team uniforms are gonna be the death of me. Or the cause of lots of chocolate indulgences.

And that totally makes me mad because I have got some serious organizing skillz. I will not be defeated.

4. There are 2 more days of school. Hallelujah. That's all I've got to say about that. I'm sure the moms in Bloggyville are agreeing with me.

5. Fran is coming in town this weekend. I haven't seen her since January. And I MISS HER. Fran, Mary, & I are having dinner Friday night and I am so excited about it that I have been jumping and clapping all week long.

I also find it so strange, but SO GOD, that I have found such amazing friends on the internet. Some of them (Rachel, Becky Jo), I have never met in real life. But I adore them. ADORE THEM.

6. I had dinner with some friends last weekend, and since Spencer and Mary Emma were at the lake and I had a babysitter for Tait and Camille, I decided to do a little shopping ALL BY MYSELF. Wanna know where I went? Office Max, Hobby Lobby, and Lifeway. I consider that an awesome evening.

7. Spencer and I temporarily lost our minds last night and decided to take the kids to eat dinner at Kobe. You know, the Japanese steak house where they cook on your table and big fire shoots up to the ceiling and dinner takes a long time and you are sharing a table with strangers who don't necessarily want to eat next to kids who are screaming because the fire scares the bejeezus out of them. But it was actually pleasant. Mary Emma and Tait - aka the picky eaters - actually liked it. Mary Emma loved the soup, chicken, edamame, and noodles. Tait liked the noodles, edamame, and a little rice. Camille - aka the garbage disposal - loved the entire thing. She ate the salad, soup, chicken, rice, noodles, veggies, and edamame. They were quiet and well-behaved. The waiter (God bless his bones) toned down his "show" and didn't make any big flames. The other people at the table were traveling businessmen who weren't bothered that the show was toned down and were very sweet to the kids. We all left in good moods, which was such a blessing, since I would've never EVER thought that dinner at Kobe with 3 small kids would've been pleasant. Thank you, Lord, for being in EVERYTHING. Even the small things.

Hope y'all have a wonderful Tuesday.

Now back to the All-Star Uniform task.

Grrrrr.

The Post In Which I Will Discuss Sparkle Fingers, Jazz Hands, & Reba McEntire.

If you will recall my giddiness a few posts ago, I told you that I was cast as an audience member in the Reba: Invitation Only show that was filmed for CMT. Well, that glorious day has come and gone and I would be remiss in my bloggy duties if I didn't share every single detail with you. You're SO welcome.

The happy occasion took place this past Saturday (aka 3 days ago). As fate and hilarity would have it, it also fell on the day after I hosted 9 8-year-old girls at my house for a sleepover, and was seriously sleep deprived. But if you think exhaustion would keep me from meeting my bff, Reba, then you have come to the wrong blog, little missy.

I decided that a) since I was going to be on CMT and b) I was gonna be mere inches from my Reba, I would fix my hair all fancy like (Fancy is my name...). But after spending way too many minutes trying to fancify my hair, I remembered that my hair is a one man pony show and only has one style and doesn't DO FANCY, so I jumped in the shower, washed it, and started over. I took some pictures of the "fancy hair," but I was even embarrassing myself, so I deleted them off of my camera, thus not posting them on this blog. Sorrrrrrrryyyyyy.

Anyhoo, a couple or 45 minutes late, I jumped in my car and headed to Nashville. I had specific instructions about where to meet and when, and was wearing some HAWT red shoes (which has nothing to do with anything except I felt morally obligated to tell you about my fab shoes) and met our production assistant who took us to the studio. We were told that the studio was hard to find which was the reason for meeting at a gazebo and being escorted there, but I noticed that there were signs everywhere directing us to Studio A, so I'm still a little confused about how one could get lost. But whatev. I think they are just the nicest people ever for escorting us to our location.

We were then escorted behind the scenes - back where the production people, trailers, crew parking was - (side note: I LOVE all things behind the scenes. LOVE IT. I even saw Narvel (Reba's husband) walking out of a trailer carrying a plate of nachos. That. Rocked.) -- and into the studio. The studio was set up like a living room. There were couches, chairs, table/chair combos and we were told individually where to sit. There were about 100 people in the audience (SHUT UP) so everyone had a great seat. I was directed to a sofa where 2 guys were already sitting. They were awesomely friendly, especially the guy sitting next to me. He was bouncy. Literally. He bounced all night long. He screamed and hollered and raised his sparkle fingers to Reba every time she glanced our direction. He was THAT GUY who yelled "I Love You, Reba!" during a camera break. He danced (complete with jazz hands) to every song she sang. He was hilarious and I had a BALL sitting next to him. I don't know how much face time I'll get on camera, because his over-the-top fan antics might've caused the camera operators to avoid our sofa, but it was totally worth it. If you do see me on camera, I'll probably be laughing hysterically at how um, animated he was.

Reba was, of course, awesome. AWESOME. She sang some oldies (The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia, Why Haven't I Heard From You, And Still...) as well as a bunch of songs off of her yet to be released album. And let me tell you something. It's gonna be GOOD. There's a song on the album called I Want a Cowboy that I predict will be HUGE for her. It should be The Pioneer Woman's theme song.

After the show, Reba was whisked off stage and was GONE before we could blink. It was her perfect chance to get to hang out with ME for a little while, but she had to complete a little task called "Performing at the Grand Ole Opry" so I let her slide this time. Oh, Nashville and your demands. You are seriously cramping my bff time. But I still love you.

After meeting my girl, Abby (hey Abby!) for dinner at a cool little place called Genghis Grill, I headed home. By this time it was 9:30 PM. I stopped by Starbucks and got a Venti Mocha (I've NEVER ordered a venti anything) because, if you'll recall, I had spent the previous night with 9 squealy girls. I was tired, but happy, and had talked to Spencer for a while on the phone, but was getting really sleepy around Huntsville. I thought about stopping to get a hotel room, but really wanted to be home in my bed more, so kept going. My sleepiness was tossed out the window when I was pulled over by the Athens Police for speeding in a construction zone. It was 11:00, raining, and dark. There was no construction taking place. I never saw a cone, an orange barrel, or a change in speed limit sign. I plead my case and even used the "It's Mother's Day" card, but was given a ticket anyway. NICE JOB, HEARTLESS ATHENS COP. Meanie. So now, my almost free, happy, blissful trip turned into a happy, blissful, trip that will cost me a bunch of American Dollars. Boo. On. That.

Even still, I got to see my Reba. And it was awesome. And you can witness the awesomeness on August 21 on CMT. If I could set my TiVo this far out, I completely would. I'm currently taking bets on how many times I'll consecutively watch the show when it airs.

My bet is 114. But I'm thinking I low-balled that a little....

The Last Day

Today, Tait will have her last blood work drawn for her Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome. The blood work is done until the child turns 4 (she will turn 4 in July). Although we have to continue with the abdominal ultrasounds until she's 8, we're thrilled to get the blood work past us. One step closer to not having to worry about any cancer issues that are associated with BWS. Plus, ultrasounds don't hurt and Tait doesn't mind them.

Pray for good results. As usual, I'm nervous. Didn't sleep much last night. It's just seems messed up to have to screen your child for cancer.

Praise Him for the good results so far. My God is faithful and I trust that she will be fine again today. I'll letcha know something when we know something.....