The Craving

I read a bunch of blogs every day. Most of them are funny and totally entertaining. Actually, most of anything I read is funny/entertaining. Therefore, I try to write my blog in the same fashion. I want to be funny. I want to be witty. I want to be entertaining.

But yesterday, I read a blog that has affected me to my core. It was written by Melissa Fitzpatrick, who is Beth Moore's daughter. Here's the link. She talks about having a Christian upbringing (Duh. Her mom is Beth Moore), a daily quiet time, but not having a personal, intimate relationship with God until she was older. Then taking Matthew 7:7 at it's word, she committed to immerse herself into the Word for a couple of months to see what would happen. Kinda like an ultimatum for God and Christianity.

You know what happened? The Word became her passion.

Oh, how I want that. I want the craving. I want the passion. I've never committed myself to it like she did. Sure, I've done about a million Bible Studies. I've sat through countless church services and gone to dozens of church camps. But I've never had a passion like the one she talks about. One problem is, I really don't know how to study the Word. Actually, I don't know how to study anything. I never had to study - school either came easy to me or I freaked out and failed. There was no middle ground. Now when I want to study the most important book ever written, I'm a little intimidated, because I don't know how.

In a small way, it makes me wonder if I'm supposed to have a passion like that. Does God reserve that kind of craving for certain people or is up for grabs? I want the passion, but don't have it. I want my family to have it. I can think of no better thing for our family than to inhale the Word of God. I can only imagine the joy of seeing that craving in my daughters. There are pits in my life that have such a stronghold because I don't have the Word in me to get out of them. The freedom that lies on the other side is exciting. But the journey to that freedom is scaring me to death.

So I'm going to complete a Melissa experiment. I'm going to also take Matthew 7:7 at it's word and dive in head first. I feel like I have sat back and waited for God to give me a craving without me having to work for it. I can hear Him saying, "COME GET IT, GIRL!! It's yours for the taking if you'll just try!" I pray that the desire, craving, and passion totally takes control of me like it did to Melissa.

Please pray for my diligence. Please pray for clarity. Please pray for discipline. Please pray for strength.

Oh, I want to know Him more!