Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Craving

I read a bunch of blogs every day. Most of them are funny and totally entertaining. Actually, most of anything I read is funny/entertaining. Therefore, I try to write my blog in the same fashion. I want to be funny. I want to be witty. I want to be entertaining.

But yesterday, I read a blog that has affected me to my core. It was written by Melissa Fitzpatrick, who is Beth Moore's daughter. Here's the link. She talks about having a Christian upbringing (Duh. Her mom is Beth Moore), a daily quiet time, but not having a personal, intimate relationship with God until she was older. Then taking Matthew 7:7 at it's word, she committed to immerse herself into the Word for a couple of months to see what would happen. Kinda like an ultimatum for God and Christianity.

You know what happened? The Word became her passion.

Oh, how I want that. I want the craving. I want the passion. I've never committed myself to it like she did. Sure, I've done about a million Bible Studies. I've sat through countless church services and gone to dozens of church camps. But I've never had a passion like the one she talks about. One problem is, I really don't know how to study the Word. Actually, I don't know how to study anything. I never had to study - school either came easy to me or I freaked out and failed. There was no middle ground. Now when I want to study the most important book ever written, I'm a little intimidated, because I don't know how.

In a small way, it makes me wonder if I'm supposed to have a passion like that. Does God reserve that kind of craving for certain people or is up for grabs? I want the passion, but don't have it. I want my family to have it. I can think of no better thing for our family than to inhale the Word of God. I can only imagine the joy of seeing that craving in my daughters. There are pits in my life that have such a stronghold because I don't have the Word in me to get out of them. The freedom that lies on the other side is exciting. But the journey to that freedom is scaring me to death.

So I'm going to complete a Melissa experiment. I'm going to also take Matthew 7:7 at it's word and dive in head first. I feel like I have sat back and waited for God to give me a craving without me having to work for it. I can hear Him saying, "COME GET IT, GIRL!! It's yours for the taking if you'll just try!" I pray that the desire, craving, and passion totally takes control of me like it did to Melissa.

Please pray for my diligence. Please pray for clarity. Please pray for discipline. Please pray for strength.

Oh, I want to know Him more!


Beth Cotell said...

That sounds wonderful and exactly what I need!

How do you plan on doing this? I'm going to head over to the link now.

Anonymous said...

Hi Robyn! Followed the link from Facebook to here, and totally identified with your desire to go deeper. About 8 years ago, I got involved with Community Bible Study (which you may have already tried), and it sort of trained me to go through scripture line-by-line and learn to soak it in. And it has CHANGED MY LIFE. Totally. I know they have some awesome CBS classes in Bham, so check it out. So glad to hear from you and know that God has blessed you with those sweet girls! Keep in touch!
love, Dana Hall McCain

Roses Are Red, Violets are Violet said...

OOh, I so need/desire this, too. I'm thinking now is as good a time as ever!

Beachy Mimi said...

I love your thoughts on this.

I have tagged you for a meme over at Beachy Mimi. I feel terrible saying that after such a serious subject matter.

The Latham Family said...

Honey, I am always very moved by the way your faith comes through in your writing, and YOU inspire ME to be more passionate about my faith and my Christianity. Don't be so hard on yourself - you've set an awesome example!

edub said...

Ro-byn. These are my thoughts exactly. Melissa's post was DEEP. I felt it. I felt what you felt. I just wanted to say that. We are SO going to have the time of our lives in SA/SF.

Unknown said...

Get it, girl!

Seriously, I feel you. Went to Christian school from seventh grade on, taught there, and still don't have the passion that I want.

Stacey said...

Enjoying your blog!

I can relate to you on the part about it was either easy or you freaked out and failed! That was me.

You brought tears to my eyes when I read your proclamation on taking God at His Word!! I know you will never be disappointed.

Lindsey said...

Hi! My name is Lindsey and I've been reading your blog for a little while now. I have enjoyed it and you are funny! Anyway, I just wanted to say that I feel the same way a/b reading the Bible. Another blog I've just started reading (Lots of Scotts) just posted on this same topic. Maybe that should be a sign for me to start my studying/reading again!

Anonymous said...

I was just checking your blog and saw this post and loved it- I was encouraged and challenged and eager to do the same. Thank you for writing about it and for wanting that for your children. It makes me want it for ours and for me too. blessings to you! susan (grainger) zellner

Phyllis said...

I know this is on old post, but I still wanted to comment on it:

Thank you so much for writing this! You expressed where so many of us are. Is there any update?